Filippos

Please, make it stop. Please.

The previous parts can be found here: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V.

“I Am the Best (Japanese version)” by 2NE1
Things worth noting:
0:00 - The Korean version can be found in Part III.
0:06 - There’s that WWE championship belt again… Why?
1:10 - Why is this part suddenly in English? The Korean version doesn’t have English here. I don’t understand. I guess that the lyrics can be anything. I mean, it’s not like the lyrics have any artistic integrity or merit in the first place.
2:10 - Okay, CL says, “It’s two in the morning; e’r’body’s gettin’ freaky. This beat’s bumpin’ loud, but this boy keeps talkin’.” This does not rhyme at all. It’s just bizarre and clunky. I mean, I know that they’re not trying (it is K-pop, after all), but why didn’t they make CL say, “It’s two in the morning; e’r’body’s gettin’ freaky. This beat’s bumpin’ loud, but this boy keeps speakin’”? It took me less than 15 seconds to properly rhyme the lines while maintaining the exact same meaning.
3:28 - “Oh, my God.” I know. It’s like watching a shiny, flashy, futuristic train derail.

“Hate You (Japanese version)” by 2NE1
Things worth noting:
0:00 - The Korean version can be found in Part III.
0:08 - As far as I can tell, this music video is identical to the Korean version.
0:20 - This line sounds just as nice as it does in the Korean version.
3:34 - What else is there to say? It’s “Hate You” in Japanese — no more, no less.

“Step” by KARA
Things worth noting:
0:00 - I don’t know why this is here. KARA is obnoxious. I mean, all K-pop is obnoxious, but KARA especially. I can’t take them seriously after, “If you wanna pretty, every wanna pretty.”
0:16 - I guess it’s at least visually-colorful and cheery.
0:48 - I’m convinced that this chorus is stolen from somewhere, but can’t quite recall the source at the moment. Just like parts of “Twinkle Twinkle” by Girl’s Day are stolen from the ’80s new wave pop song “Mickey” by Toni Basil and parts of “Love Is Move” by Secret are stolen from “Greased Lightning” from the Grease (1978) original soundtrack, the source is probably something from the United States’ late ’70s or ’80s. The “Step” chorus resembles the chorus from “Shake It Up” by Elizabeth Daily on the Scarface (1983) original soundtrack, but I’m unsure if it’s what I have in mind.
1:03 - This girl looks like she’s in middle school…
2:23 - This slower section actually sounds all right. Why is it so short, then? It should at least be four lines instead of two, I guess.

“I Love You, I Love You” by Miryo (Brown Eyed Girls) featuring Sunny (So Nyeo Shi Dae)
Things worth noting:
0:38 - Listen closely: they actually begin Auto-Tuning Miryo’s rapping here. Think about this for a second. Auto-Tuning. Rapping. Yeah.
0:48 - Ugh, it sounds horrendous. Why did they do this?
0:50 - Stop it, please!
1:02 - The only reason that this song is here is because of how comparatively-great Sunny’s voice sounds throughout. I don’t even hear any Auto-Tune!
1:27 - …And it’s back. Go away, Miryo. You’re ruining this song with your computerized vocalizations. I hope that Auto-Tune is entirely forgotten by the 2020s. Dubstep, too, while we’re forgetting things.
3:10 - This music video is pretty boring. It’s just various studio footage. What is there to say? Even the song title is boring. I wonder how many songs are titled “I Love You” in the world. Several 10,000s, I’m sure.
3:58 - Good-bye. Next!

“Mach (Japanese version)” by Rainbow
Things worth noting:
0:00 - There’s not a Korean version of this music video, but there is of the song.
0:04 - Futuristic.
0:08 - Motorcycles.
0:12 - Boring.
0:21 - This girl-plus-motorcycle concept has been done to death over the last several decades. No amount of rainbow-colored, computer-generated aftereffects can make it fresh again.
0:39 - At least the song is pretty catchy.
2:18 - You know, if they’re going to go with the futuristic look and combine it with rainbow-colored light trails, then why motorcycles? Why not futuristic, high-speed, anti-gravity racers à la the WipEout series? Seriously, how cool would that be? The music video could show the Rainbow members racing against each other cut in between the dance shots. Instead, we get to watch some random guy about whom no one cares doing doughnuts.
2:50 - Oh, they kicked the chairs… How edgy… Yawns…

“Hoi Hoi” by Rainbow Pixie
Things worth noting:
0:00 - Apparently, “hoi hoi” is a nonsensical, magical phrase from an older, South Korean cartoon. Interesting.
0:04 - Right from the start, I must ask, do South Korean men really like this aegyo (girlish, winsome naïveté) nonsense? Yeah, it’s cute when prepubescent girls do it, but I wouldn’t want to date or be anywhere near someone past 18 years old acting like it. That’s what it is, too: acting. There’s no way that any female in her 20s in South Korea (or anywhere else) has natural aegyo. Do South Korean men not find mature femininity attractive? Is it Asian men in general? I know that Japan has a thing for it, too. I don’t understand the appeal.
0:11 - Does this pose that Seung Ah strikes have a name? I’ve seen it several places before.
0:17 - Apparently, they’re saying, “Hoi hoi ultra pectorus mus,” here. According to Google Translate, this roughly means, “Hoi hoi mouse beyond the breast,” in Latin. I guess that the general idea is that “ultra pectorus” is supposed to mean “from the heart.” I don’t understand the “mouse” reference, though.
0:25 - “Hoi hoi ultra pectorus beams” = Hoi hoi beams from the heart?
1:41 - Look at Jisook here… Ugh, I feel nauseous. Damn you, aegyo.
2:18 - All right, I can’t take it anymore. I must point this out. Look at Hyun Young’s eyelids. Like almost every other South Korean female, they’ve been surgically altered in the name of misbegotten beauty through a process called epicanthoplasty that creates a creased, “Western” “double eyelid.” The problem is that the crease is superficially cut into the eyelid where it looks more or less natural when opened but odd when closed. Look at Hyun Young’s opened eye here. It looks, more or less, like a natural “double eyelid.” Now look at her closed eye when she blinks. Oh, my! What’s wrong with it!? The crease has moved from her eye socket along with her eyelid leaving a smooth, creaseless surface of skin at the socket! See what I mean? It looks bizarre, unnatural, and, well, hideously unattractive. Asian women, please stop this “double eyelid” nonsense. Look at any Westerner’s “double eyelid.” It doesn’t quite look or function like your epicanthoplastic version and never will.
3:25 - Whatever. Next!

“The Grasshopper Song” by Sunny Hill
Things worth noting:
0:00 - According to the description of the YouTube video, the story elements in this music video reference the Aesop fable The Ant and the Grasshopper. Janghyun, the guy in the black suit, represents the ant while Jubee, the girl in the green hat, the grasshopper.
0:42 - One thing that I’ve noticed throughout this music video is that the set seems unfinished in places. I mean, was the plywood here supposed to be painted or prepared somehow? Did they run out of time? Did they just not care? Do I not care?
1:10 - Yes, hide your scary epicanthoplastic eyelids behind the brim of your hat.
1:51 - I thought about counting the number of times that the word “ring” is used in this song, but gave up before I even began.
2:54 - Seriously, if you want to sell millions of singles/albums in South Korea, then I have the formula down cold:

1. Find at least four marginally-attractive, South Korean girls between the ages of 17 and 21.
2. Starve and cut them until they look like emaciated hybrids of South Korean and Caucasian women.
3. Go through the alphabet and find your favorite letter: “Gee,” “Oh!,” “A,” it doesn’t really matter as long as it’s not something that doesn’t flow well (like W or X). If the alphabet doesn’t do it for you, then just find your favorite monosyllabic, English word and go with that.
4. Write uninspired lyrics about love or its derivatives to go along with your letter or word. Be certain to mention “sarang” (love) and “boy” several times as well as insert various English words and phrases whether they stylistically fit or make sense or not.
5. “Compose” bland noises and a repetitive drum beat loop with a synthesizer. These sounds don’t necessarily have to be melodious or harmonic (see: “The Boys” by So Nyeo Shi Dae) as long as they’re as simple and rememberable as possible.
6. Tell your gangly group of ethnically-questionable girls to act prepubescent or sexy while repeating the chosen letter of the alphabet or monosyllabic word at least 35 times within the three-minute-and-thirty-second duration of your synthesized masterpiece.
7. Make them dance around or whatever. Honestly, it doesn’t matter as long as they act immaturely cute or overtly sexy.
8. Capture this magic on camera and air it on national television.

You won’t know what hit you as your bank account grows to staggering proportions almost overnight!
3:27 - Is that a giant banana? What is it with giant bananas? There’s one in “Don’t Let Your Eyes Wander” by Girl’s Day, as well. It’s not a phallic symbol, is it? The giant, throbbing banana of the K-pop industry knows no boundaries.
4:45 - My head hurts. Next!

“Be My Baby (Korean version)” by Wonder Girls
Things worth noting:
0:08 - I actually really like these poses that are struck by Sohee, Hyerim, and the rest. This music video has some rather well-danced choreography.
0:13 - It looks like Yubin (middle) is about to fall over, but, if you watch a live performance, she’s actually getting ready to walk away. Bad editing.
1:05 - Hyerim’s voice cracks (or at least falters) here. Was this really the best take? Did they even do more than one take?
1:14 - I like this hair wave move that Yeeun and the rest do here.

“Be My Baby (English version)” by Wonder Girls
Things worth noting:
0:08 - I still like these poses.
0:43 - Hyerim’s English lines throughout this section sound so awkward…
1:05 - …But at least her voice doesn’t crack or falter here like in the Korean version.
1:20 - I wonder why they changed the lyrics from, “Make me your lady, make me your lady,” in the Korean version to, “Make me your lady, ‘cause I’m goin’ crazy.”

Yeah, okay, now where’s my paracetamol…?

It’s Halloween! What does this have to do with K-pop? Nothing!

For Part V, I decided to take a break from normal K-pop and list some remixes that actually show that some effort was put into their creation. All nine of the following songs and videos were remixed by Areia. I’m doing things a little differently this time. Instead of pointing out various things worth noting within the music videos, I’m going to mainly comment on why the remixed music, itself, is great — often in comparison to the originals.

The previous parts can be found here: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV.

[AREIA REMIX 004] “Bad Girl” by Devil & Angel
Why it’s great:
0:00 - The original can be found here.
0:13 - Normally, I’m not a big fan of sped-up remixes, but this is an exception for one large reason…
0:43 - …This! This sped-up, creeping music sounds like someone or something chasing someone at a brisk walking or even jogging pace. In the original, it sounds like someone or something slowly advancing forward — no particular rush. I can’t decide which one I like more. I like them both! The swaying dancing fits both perfectly, too.

[AREIA REMIX 019] “Like the First Time” by T-ara
Why it’s great:
0:00 - The original can be found here.
0:12 - What’s immediately obvious is the breakneck speed of the instrumentation compared to the slower, more evenly-paced vocals. Areia did a great job fitting a fast-paced, trancelike sound to this moderate-tempo song.

[AREIA REMIX 033] “CABI Song” by So Nyeo Shi Dae & 2PM
Why it’s great:
0:00 - The original can be found in Part II.
0:27 - If you ask me, this is Areia’s best remix to date. It’s nearly perfect in every way. The duration, the music direction… everything. It feels like a warm, summertime experience.
1:12 - So good!
2:17 - It’s just solid direction through and through…
4:30 - Excellent job capturing a dreamlike, summer paradise feel here!

[AREIA REMIX 054] “To Me” by Rainbow
Why it’s great:
0:00 - The original can be found in Part II.
0:51 - This is a solid remix simply because Areia manages to minimize repetition by often changing from one part of the track to another. This approach keeps things fresh and provides the listener with reprieve from the onslaught of vocalized vowels found in the original.

[AREIA REMIX 057] “Knock Out” by GD & TOP
Why it’s great:
0:00 - The original can be found here.
0:21 - This remix is another example of Areia doing a great job hastening an original to create a more-exciting, danceable remix.
0:30 - I don’t really know what’s going on with the lyrics, but the meaningless sounds, themselves, are pretty catchy at least.

[AREIA REMIX 059] “Pinocchio (Danger)” by f(x)
Why it’s great:
0:00 - The original can be found in Part III.
0:30 - This remix doesn’t change too much or take too many chances. It simply takes the already-catchy original and gives it a danceable beat. This remix is a great example of demonstrating that it doesn’t always take radical changes to make a solid remix.

[AREIA REMIX 062] “Before the Dawn” by Infinite
Why it’s great:
0:00 - The original can be found here.
1:14 - Besides successfully increasing the tempo a little, Areia manages to make the vocals sound even more feminine than they do in the original during this, “Why, why, why?” part.

[AREIA REMIX 066] “Shampoo” by After School
Why it’s great:
0:00 - The original can be found here.
1:27 - The lyrics to this song are creepy. Really creepy. Despite this, Areia manages to take a restraining order-creepy song and make it danceable. The man is a genius!
2:20 - Seriously, though, what the hell?
3:52 - More ethereal goodness here.

[AREIA REMIX 076] “Sweet Dream” by Rainbow
Why it’s great:
0:00 - The original used to be able to be found in Part III, but now it doesn’t appear to exist on YouTube in high definition anymore.
0:14 - I love this entire opening sequence, especially…
0:57 - …This part. It’s so surreal and dreamlike. Woo Ri has never sounded better. Areia did an excellent job turning “Sweet Dream” into a dreamlike experience.

Other great K-pop remixes by Areia include, but are not limited to:
[AREIA REMIX 003] “Abracadabra” by Brown Eyed Girls
[AREIA REMIX 011] “Energy” by Mighty Mouth
[AREIA REMIX 018] “Because of You” by After School
[AREIA REMIX 027] “Ah!” by After School
[AREIA REMIX 032] “Swing” by Lee Hyori
[AREIA REMIX 034] “Ppi Ri Ppa Ppa” by Narsha

Oh, man, here we go again… I’m getting pretty tired of K-pop for the most part, but that doesn’t stop some of these songs from being infectious. It’s just so repetitive and derivative. How many times can I hear about sarang (love) put to a catchy tune? The first three parts can be found here: Part I, Part II, Part III.

Whatever. Let’s do this.

“Nothing Lasts Forever” by Girl’s Day
Things worth noting:
0:45 - “‘Cause nothing lasts forever,” including this song, I hope.
0:53 - What is this dance move? The drunken chicken?
0:59 - The drunken crab?
1:31 - Ha ha, yeah, right. The only instrument these girls require is an Asian guy in the background with a computer running FL Studio or similar.

“Don’t Let Your Eyes Wander” by Girl’s Day
Things worth noting:
0:09 - Do K-pop girl groups go through a Cutesy Faces 101 class before debuting? Cutesy faces seem to be a staple of the genre.
0:44 - You’re so pabo, Minah, with your forced aegyo.
0:52 - “GIRLSDAY REC” — Girl’s Day + [REC] (2007)…? I need this.
1:52 - What are they doing? They’re just bouncing and spinning around.
2:03 - Terrible demonstration of changing expressions behind a hand… I can see everything. Back to Cutesy Faces 101 with you!
2:18 - Oh, hey, here’s an Asian man at a computer now! Well, at least they don’t try to hide him this time.
3:04 - A banana cannon? Okay, that’s kind of funny.
3:22 - “BEHIND THE SCENE,” because there was only one.
3:29 - This is clearly sexual harassment.

“The Boys (Korean version)” by So Nyeo Shi Dae
Things worth noting:
0:00 - I don’t know what Teddy Riley was thinking, but this song is terrible. It has almost no melody whatsoever. It’s just a boring drum beat with the girls singing mediocre lyrics (that have an entirely different meaning in the even-worse English version).
0:39 - Tiffany’s dress is so shiny and sparkly. It looks great in 1080p resolution.
0:53 - At first I was confused regarding why Jessica releases a dove, but then I realized that it’s probably being sent to find poor Sooyoung a sandwich.
1:20 - “Good game” to you, too. (Yes, I know that “GG” means “Girls’ Generation” in this case.)
1:32 - So, yeah, where’s the melody? Did Riley forget it? Where’s that Asian man with his computer when we need him?
2:35 - Oh, geez, where is that dove already? I know that it’s almost Halloween, but the idea is to dress up as a skeleton, not become one.
2:47 - Oh, there it is. I guess it couldn’t find anything… Normally, I’m against this kind of barbarism, but, Sooyoung, I give you permission to eat the dove, itself. Please, just eat something.
3:11 - Whoa! It’s like staring into the face of Famine.
4:33 - This four-times repetition sounds terrible. They won’t be bringing any boys out with this song (except, maybe, the hardcore stalker variety). I mean, my first instinct is to stay indoors and close the blinds. My second instinct is to write about it on a blog that no one reads.

“Bad Girl Good Girl” by miss A
Things worth noting:
0:00 - I only recently found out about miss A, so it’s time to play catch-up. I just want to go ahead and state that miss A has some insanely-catchy stuff — especially the next song.
0:14 - It seems like Jia’s off-colored hair is a common theme for miss A.
0:19 - Referencing The Nutcracker in a K-pop music video is an insult to Tchaikovsky.
0:23 - Who does this guy think he is? Snoop Dogg?
0:24 - This line, “You don’t know me, so shut up, boy,” reminds me of “Shoes” by Kelly. The only difference is that Kelly is an intentional parody of terrible pop music whereas miss A is supposed to be taken seriously. Hilarious.
0:53 - “Hello, hello, hello, hello,” replies Kurt Cobain, followed by a lawsuit from beyond the grave.
1:25 - These dance moves are rather saucy… Aren’t these girls around sixteen years old in this music video?
1:49 - Why does it seem like so many K-pop girl groups do this create-a-fist-one-finger-at-a-time move? It’s not cool anymore. Stop it.
2:22 - I must admit that Fei is rather attractive. The other girls look like high school freshmen, but Fei looks older than she actually is.

“Breathe” by miss A
Things worth noting:
0:00 - This song is ridiculously catchy. It’s been stuck in my head for days now. I really like the music video, too, for several reasons.
0:31 - “I can’t breathe,” so she puts on a respirator. Clever, right? No? Okay.
1:16 - This jolting dance move fits the staccato music really well here.
1:34 - Pouting Fei is the best.
3:05 - Here’s another great, jolting dance move that fits the music.

“Love Alone” by miss A
Things worth noting:
0:00 - This song manages to be sung entirely in English without being terrible. For this, it deserves some kind of award. That said, there’s really nothing to say about this music video. It’s a bunch of live and behind-the-scenes (or “behind-the-scene” if you’re Girl’s Day) footage.

“Good Bye Baby” by miss A
Things worth noting:
0:30 - What is going on? Who is this white-suited man? Why is he surrounded by Westerners?
1:05 - Whoa! What!?
1:30 - Now the white-suited man is in a giant test tube?
1:58 - Masturbation gestures and lost virginity references… These girls are still under eighteen, right? For shame, South Korea.
2:21 - This looks like a casino-grade die. Notice how the corners aren’t rounded at all. This means that none of the sides are fixed — every roll is fair. What does this have to do with the song? I have no idea, but I’m willing to bet that the answer is, “Nothing.”
4:44 - You know, all that this man has to do is reach up and pull himself out of the tube. It’s not like he’s too short. There’s not a cover on the top.
4:49 - Her voice totally cracks here. Wow, it sounds bad.

“Love Is Move” by Secret
Things worth noting:
0:00 - This “MOVE” logo heavily reminds me of the opening credit sequence to Enter the Void (2009). A high-definition version of the latter part can be found here.
0:11 - More happy, bouncy dancing in this one…
0:18 - Oh, hi, Sunhwa.
1:04 - This part reminds me of “Greased Lightning” from Grease (1978).
1:35 - Sunhwa has the angle for the head-tilted stare down cold.
2:41 - What is with K-pop and the phrase, “My boy”? This isn’t cool anymore, either. Stop it.

“Shy Boy (Japanese version)” by Secret
Things worth noting:
0:00 - This music video is almost a shot-for-shot recreation of the Korean version of the same song. Why even bother? For the Korean version, see Part II.
0:32 - This is a pretty cool-looking acoustic guitar. You won’t hear it in this song, though.
1:10 - “R” in place of “are” stopped being cool back in the mid-’90s. Stop it, please.
1:41 - Only one hair flip this time…
3:41 - Eh, what is there to say? It’s “Shy Boy” in Japanese.

After watching the review and brief comparison by the Nostalgia Critic between The Haunting (1963) and its terrible 1999 remake, I became intrigued by the original 1963 film.

- - - - - - - - - - SPOILER WARNING - - - - - - - - - -

This film holds up remarkably well for a film that’s almost 50 years old.  I’d argue that it’s timeless if it weren’t for the antiquated vehicles on the road, fashion, and style of speech.  These aside, though, this film does not rely on old, cheesy special effects like spooky skeletons, found in the film House on Haunted Hill (1959), for example, or rubber bats on strings.  Instead, the entire film is psychological: terror rather than horror.

The fundamental story is that a researcher named Dr. John Markway has decided to conduct experiments searching for supernatural phenomena in a mansion called Hill House that is said to be haunted.  Hill House has claimed the lives of many of its residents throughout its history.  Dr. Markway gathers together two other persons who have had documented supernatural experiences in their pasts with the hope that their energy will encourage supernatural activity in Hill House.  The first is a woman named Eleanor “Nell” Lance who has experienced a poltergeist as a child.  The second is a psychic lady named Theodora, or “Theo.”  Besides these two, Dr. Markway brings along a third person: his skeptical assistant named Luke Sanderson who doesn’t add much else to the story.  Eventually, Dr. Markway’s wife, Grace Markway, unexpectedly arrives at Hill House.  As the team explores the house, Eleanor slowly goes mad, so it seems, until she surrenders and Hill House takes her life, as well, adding to its collection of victims.

I found that the character Theodora greatly adds to the screenplay because she’s strongly hinted to be a lesbian who is sexually attracted to Eleanor.  As stated above, she’s also a psychic.  This leads to an interesting dynamic where Theodora often reads Eleanor’s mind and, using the information gathered therein, attempts to take advantage of her weaknesses and vulnerabilities.  To make things even more interesting, Eleanor develops a crush on Dr. Markway despite the fact that he’s married.  This means that Eleanor’s affection for Dr. Markway goes unrequited while Theodora’s affection for Eleanor goes unrequited.  Theodora ends up being hurt the most, I think, when, toward the end, Eleanor calls her one of “nature’s mistakes.”  All of the scenes preceding this one show that Theodora is hopeful that Eleanor might respond positively to her advances.  All of the scenes after this one show that Theodora has lost hope.  The actress who plays Theodora, Claire Bloom, does a great job conveying shock and emotional pain during this pivotal scene.

What makes this film effective is its constant use of an unseen threat.  Not once is a ghost or other supernatural being shown on screen.  Instead, the supernatural force(s) is heard, felt, and smelled.  These three senses combined with Eleanor’s often-expressed internal monologue create an eerie, psychological feeling of terror.  The viewer questions whether it’s the house or Eleanor who is ill.

The cinematography is superb.  Throughout Hill House, dozens of statues with vacant stares gaze down atop shelves and from corners.  In several scenes, these statues stare from the background at the cast of characters in the foreground as if they’re the eyes of the house.  More than once, Eleanor turns a corner in the darkness only to be confronted head-on by a statue peering directly at her.

I greatly enjoyed this film.  It’s one of my all-time favorite films.  I recommend it to all horror fans simply because it’s so well-written, effective at what it attempts, and almost timeless with its style.

It seems like every time that I hear about the 2003 - 2009 Battlestar Galactica science fiction television series it’s in a positive light.  In fact, I only hear praise when its name is mentioned.  Some sci-fi fans claim that it’s one of the best — if not the best — science fiction television shows ever created.

I decided to watch the entire show from beginning to end to see for myself what the show was about and whether it deserves the acclaim.  To clarify, I watched the Miniseries (2003), Season 1 (2004 - 2005), Season 2 (2005 - 2006), Season 3 (2006 - 2007), Razor (2007), Season 4 (2008 - 2009), and The Plan (2009).  According to the list of episodes on Wikipedia, this is the entire show.

For the sake of structure, I will segment this review into the above segments beginning with the miniseries and ending with The Plan.  Beside each segment header, I will provide my personal rating using the 10-point rating scale.  Keep in mind that the ratings are relative to the show and not all of [science] fiction.

Let’s begin!

- - - - - - - - - - SPOILER WARNING - - - - - - - - - -

Miniseries (2003) — 10 out of 10

The Battlestar Galactica miniseries is three solid hours (four broadcast hours) in duration.  It’s entertaining and engaging from beginning to end.  I have few complaints about it.  The Caprica sets and locations seemed a little “sterile” to me — a little too clean and perfect.  The CGI effects are quite good, but not great.  (As one might imagine, the CGI improves as the show continues.  By Season 4, the CGI is rather impressive.)  Besides these minor issues, I thoroughly enjoyed watching it.

The story establishes the conflict between the humans and the human-created Cylons.  Basically, humans created robots called Cylons to help with tasks and whatnot.  They essentially became a slave race to the humans.  As the opening to the first few seasons explains, the Cylons rebelled, evolved, and returned with a plan against humanity.  The Cylons managed to create twelve models that are indistinguishable from humans in almost every way.  One of the themes of the entire show is the mystery element asking the question, “Who is a Cylon?”  By the end of the miniseries, four of the twelve Cylon models are known to the audience.  These humanoid Cylon models are used for a variety of purposes by the Cylon army.  These purposes usually revolve around espionage and infiltration.  There are many copies of not only the visually-machine Cylons, but also the visually-human ones.  Whenever a humanoid Cylon dies, its consciousness is downloaded into another copy of itself.  This means that the humanoid Cylons are effectively immortal as long as there is a copy existing and close enough to receive the information from the dead Cylon.

The Cylons return to Caprica, one of the Twelve Colonies of Kobol, after disappearing for approximately 40 years.  As plot convenience would have it, the battlestar-class warship Galactica is being retired during a decommissioning ceremony and is filled with military personnel.  The Cylons proceed to destroy Caprica along with the other eleven of the Twelve Colonies (Aerilon, Aquaria, Canceron, Gemenon, Leonis, Libran, Picon, Sagittaron, Scopria, Tauron, and Virgon) with hundreds, if not thousands, of nuclear warheads.  This event brings the human population down to below 60,000.  One of the themes of the show is the ever-decreasing survivor count as the humans-versus-Cylons conflict persists.  This near extinction of humanity and all of its ensuing plot elements does a great job of establishing the cast of characters.  The gravity of not only individual survival but human survival as a whole is conveyed rather well.  The battlestar Galactica is quickly placed back into commission as the remaining humans slowly begin to realize that they’ve lost the ongoing event known as the Cylon War.  They decide to swallow their pride and flee, leaving the devastated Twelve Colonies and its few human survivors at the mercy of the Cylons.

Besides the two issues mentioned above, I don’t know what I would have done to make the miniseries (which serves as the pilot to the show) any better.  The story is gripping.  There’s really no other way to put it.  By the time that the credits rolled, I was hooked and couldn’t wait to begin the first season to see what happens next.  In classic television style, the miniseries ends on a cliffhanger as it reveals that the fourth Cylon known to the audience is one of the main Galactica crew members.

It’s worth mentioning that the Cylons generally don’t have proper names unless assigned one for a mission.  Instead, they go by their model number, thus their “names” are “Number One,” “Number Two,” “Number Three,” and so forth.  They refer to the many copies of themselves collectively as “The Ones,” “The Twos,” “The Threes,” and so forth.  Because of these multiple copies, the same actors and actresses end up playing multiple rolls — sometimes in the same scene and, often, frame.  It’s a little confusing at first, but slight changes such as hair styles and colors, clothing, and other differentiating features distinguish the story-important, humanoid Cylons.  For example, one of the Sixes becomes known as “Caprica Six.”  Caprica Six is the blonde-haired woman centered in the above image.

Along with Caprica Six, many other characters are introduced including, but not limited to, Commander William Adama, his son Lee Adama, Kara “Starbuck” Thrace, President Laura Roslin, and Gaius Baltar.  Interestingly enough, these characters and many others often change their roles as the show progresses.  For example, Commander Adama becomes Admiral Adama, Major Lee Adama becomes a government official, scientist Gaius Baltar becomes a religious figure, and more.  I enjoyed seeing the characters in these different roles.  Not only did it keep the story fresh, but also allowed for variability within the Galactica crew and its fleet.  This variability conveys well the confusion and, at times, chaos that a small remainder of humanity would most likely display.  For example, what would happen if an entire government were eliminated?  Who should become leader?  Does democracy still apply in such a drastic situation?  Battlestar Galactica tackles these questions and many others.

Season 1 (2004 - 2005) — 10 out of 10

The first season continues the main story and story arcs established by the miniseries as well as introduces new ones.  The Galactica crew and several members of its fleet deal with issues such as learning more about the Cylons and their motives, dealing with limited supply, being alone in space, elections, and religious prophecies.  Religion and prophecy play a central role within the Battlestar Galactica universe.  Even the Cylons, having been created by humans, retain or develop their belief in a god.  In a way, a mostly-behind-the-scenes religious war between the human gods versus the Cylon god develops over time throughout the series.

This season answers and begins to answer and show how the surviving human population decide to deal with their predicament.  One of the interesting things about this season is the story arc dealing with the survivors on Caprica.  This arc continues well into the second season.  Due to the nature of the destruction of Caprica by nuclear weapons, this arc has somewhat of a post-nuclear, Fallout feel to it that I found fun to watch unfold.

Besides post-nuclear Caprica, the crew investigates their ancestral planet of Kobol.  This story arc is related to the religious prophecy that begins to be established within this season.  I found both Caprica and Kobol a welcome “vacation” from the monochrome colors found within Galactica and many of the other ships in the fleet.

Of course, while the above and more is happening, the Galactica crew is often dealing with attacks from the numerous Cylon fleet attempting to finish the job of human extinction.

Eventually within this season, the entire fleet becomes aware that the Cylons are now capable of human appearance.  The resulting distrust and wariness is highly entertaining to watch.

Season 2 (2005 - 2006) — 10 out of 10

By now, large portions of the plot are established.  The remaining humans deal with issues such as continued Cylon attacks; general problems aboard Galactica such as power outages; the horrors that are discovered on post-nuclear, Cylon-occupied Caprica; finding survivors; and, toward the end of the season, settling on a new planet.  This season is by far my favorite season.  Besides the incredibly-entertaining Cylon-occupied Caprica story arc, another battlestar-class warship called Pegasus makes contact with Galactica.  The ensuing character relations are some of the best that I’ve seen in television outside of The Sopranos.

As if the survivors on Caprica weren’t interesting enough, the Pegasus story arc pushes the second season above and beyond my expectations.  Two of my favorite characters are introduced during the Pegasus arc: Admiral Helena Cain and Gina Inviere.  Admiral Cain is the hardened commanding officer of Pegasus.  Gina Inviere is an undercover Six posing as a systems analyst and gathering intelligence for the Cylons.  Eventually, the Pegasus crew discover that Gina is a Cylon and proceed to torture and rape her relentlessly in order to gather intelligence on the Cylons.  These events raise the already-rising questions within Battlestar Galactica and asked by the film Blade Runner (1982): “What is human?”, “Can machines become human?”, and “Do machines have rights?”

As a few more of the twelve humanoid Cylons become known and their motives change, the audience begins to see the Cylons as less of an absolute threat and more of a conflicted and sometimes confused race of machines trying to find its place in the universe.  After a while, the Cylons decide that they have made a mistake by trying to exterminate humans and offer a truce.  This leads the humans to reluctantly settle on a planet that they name “New Caprica.”  Shortly thereafter, the Cylons decide to invade New Caprica creating chaos.

All-in-all, I find that the second season is the best season.  It has the right blend of everything: action, romance, twists, and more.  From Cylon-occupied Caprica to Pegasus to New Caprica, it’s a joy to behold from start to finish.

Season 3 (2006 - 2007) — 9 out of 10

The third season is where the plot begins to slightly fray.  While this season isn’t bad by anyone’s standards, as a whole, it doesn’t offer nearly as much quality entertainment as the second season.  The cast of characters deal with issues such as escaping the nightmarish Cylon occupation on New Caprica, reassembling the casualty-heavy crew and fleet, finding the Temple of Five, conducting a high-profile legal trial, and several smaller story arcs ranging from relationships to further explanation of the religious prophecies.

One of the main prophecies constructed in the first season is the idea of a mythical planet called Earth.  One of the main goals of the Galactica crew and its fleet is to find Earth and settle there.  After the horrible experience of prematurely settling on New Caprica, the hope for finding Earth is stronger than ever.  At the end of this season, the crew aboard Galactica are given a major resource related to the location of Earth.

Besides escaping New Caprica, rebuilding the fleet, searching for Earth, conducting the legal trial, and several minor story arcs, the only other thing that happens in this season is the brief stint on the algae planet.  The fleet runs low on food supplies, finds a planet filled with algae blooms, and decides that it’s better than starving.  While there, they end up finding the Temple of Five: an ancient ruin capable of showing the faces of the final five humanoid Cylons (known as the Final Five) to those who discover its secrets.  Not even the vast majority of the Cylons know the identities of these final five humanoid Cylons.

The third season is a really good season as a whole.  While not as great as the second season, it’s still quite enjoyable to watch.  I don’t really like the idea of the humanoid Cylons being split into the Significant Seven and the Final Five where the Significant Seven do not initially know the identities of the Final Five.  It’s not a horrible plot element, but I wouldn’t call it “genius,” either.  It does, however, give the Cylons more depth as a race.  Rather than being a uniform army of machines, they, too, have several goals and aspirations — one being the cautious search for the Final Five.

Razor (Unrated Extended Edition) (2007) — 10 out of 10

I love this film.  Razor takes place during the Pegasus story arc, so the audience learns more about Admiral Helena Cain, Gina Inviere, and a new character named Kendra Shaw who is another one of my favorite characters.  (I’m a huge fan of the Pegasus story arc.  It’s by far my favorite arc with Cylon-occupied Caprica being a close second.)  The plot of Razor further explains the multitude of events that occur during the Pegasus story arc of the second season.  Admiral Cain, Gina Inviere, newcomer Kendra Shaw, and several other characters are expounded upon through an engaging and well-written narrative.

Season 4 (2008 - 2009) — 6 out of 10

The fourth season of Battlestar Galactica isn’t bad, but it isn’t good, either.  This season contains all of the remaining explanations, ties together many — if not all — of the subplots, and completes the story.  By the end of this season, all twelve of the humanoid Cylon models have been revealed to the audience.  The characters deal with being led to a planet that they initially thought to be Earth, a Cylon civil war, mutiny on Galactica, and finding the real Earth.  Several of the characters receive new roles during this season.  For example, Lee Adama becomes a government official and Gaius Baltar becomes a religious leader.

The Cylon civil war story arc results in four of the Significant Seven Cylons joining forces with the humans against the remaining three of the Significant Seven.  Together, they launch an assault on the remaining three of the Significant Seven, and then find the real Earth together.

As described above, this season sounds exciting and entertaining, and it is to a point, but also frustrating and somewhat annoying because many of the loose ends established throughout the entire show are given mediocre and unsatisfactory resolutions and explanations.  By the end of this season, I was glad that Battlestar Galactica was over — that there wasn’t a fifth season and beyond.  Almost everything leading to the fourth season had been incredible, so the mediocrity of the final season left me feeling relieved that the show hadn’t been completely destroyed by, for example, three more mediocre seasons.  Again, I didn’t hate it, but it’s easily my least favorite of the four seasons.

The Plan (2009) — 7 out of 10

The Plan shows several of the events that occur during the first two seasons from the perspective of the Cylons.  Because the Cylons were shrouded in mystery during the first two seasons, their perspective was not shown.  I found this film to be good, but unneeded.  Did I need to know exactly what the Cylons were thinking when they did what they did?  I liked the mystery and guesswork provided by the first two seasons regarding the motives of the Cylons.  Now that the audience knows what they were doing and thinking, the mystery is gone.  I’m not completely satisfied with some of the explanations given, either.  Most of them are well-written and interesting, but a few leave much to be desired.

Final thoughts — 9 out of 10

Battlestar Galactica is well worth watching.  I give it a strong 9 out of 10 rating.  It definitely deserves the praise even if it didn’t live up to my high expectations toward the end.

The show provides the viewer with many questions and controversies relating to issues including racism, politics, abortion, torture, rape, science versus religion, identity, immortality, and many others.  The vast majority of the story and its characters are well-written, relatable, engaging, and entertaining to watch.  The story hooks the viewer from the start and doesn’t begin to let go until some point during the fourth season.

As a final complaint, I found the show to be a little too reminiscent of the soap opera genre at times.  Some of the relationships between the characters could have been toned down a bit and, in their stead, more exploration and scientific plot could have been provided.  For example, does divorce really need to be a part of Battlestar Galactica?  While some would argue that the divorce subplot develops the characters, I argue that the characters are capable of being developed in ways less soapy and more “sci-fi” perhaps through adventures, camaraderie, introspection, internal monologue, and so forth.

As a continuation of Part I and Part II, I challenge you to watch the music videos below and not have them become stuck in your head for days or kill yourself depending on your musical tastes.

“I Am the Best” by 2NE1
Things worth noting:
0:45 - I really like this glance that Bom throws toward her right.
0:52 - I also like this glance that Bom throws toward her left. Maybe it’s her makeup.
1:01 - “I don’t care,” says Dara.
2:26 - I wonder if 2NE1 even knows whom the Misfits are.
2:35 - Bom seems bored. She always seems bored, really.

“Hate You” by 2NE1
Things worth noting:
0:00 - For some reason, I find this song to be one of the catchiest K-pop songs I’ve heard. There’s one line in particular that really hooked me when I first heard it.
0:19 - Here’s that line now. It plays throughout. Apparently, she’s saying, “Chameumyeo saranghagin sigani neomu akkawo.” I have no idea what this means, but it sounds nice. This is probably a good thing.
1:15 - The way that the irises are drawn in this music video is really nice. I don’t think that I’ve ever seen irises drawn this way before.
2:37 - I wonder why Bom’s shotgun functions like a rifle.

“Pinocchio (Danger)” by f(x)
Things worth noting:
0:05 - Apparently, “Pinocchio” is pronounced like “pi no kyo” in Korean. Maybe I’m missing something, though. Perhaps it’s pronounced this way for a reason.
0:43 - I really like the facial expression and general choreography of the girl in the middle here and especially starting at 0:45/0:46. I don’t know her name. I don’t know any of their names.
1:48 - The leg choreography of the middle girl is pretty nice here.
2:02 - I’ll never get tired of this facial expression. I laugh every time.
2:54 - “Oh, no, she di’n’t!”

“Sweet Dream” by Rainbow
Things worth noting:
0:00 - I don’t really like this song much. It doesn’t stand out as much as other Rainbow songs. The girls look nice, though.
0:08 - This clone effect is seen throughout the entire video. It’s interesting, I suppose.
1:24 - Hyun Young looks distraught. I wonder what she’s saying. Ha ha
3:40 - Yeah, so I don’t know what to say about this music video. The girls look nice. The clone effect is interesting. Hyun Young looks upset. There’s a lot of standing around and not much choreography.

“A (Japanese version)” by Rainbow
Things worth noting:
0:25 - “Look at how bony and featureless we are!”
1:43 - Seung Ah can see into your mind.
3:27 - Eh, there’s not much to say about this music video. The Korean version is better. One can find it in Part I.

“Echo” by So Nyeo Shi Dae
Things worth noting:
0:00 - I really dislike how the girls bleat the word “echo” throughout the beginning. It sounds so bad it’s cacophonous.
0:11 - Taeyeon (or the director, at least) wants everyone to know how adorable she is.
0:22 - Jessica seems sure of herself here…
0:28 - …But not so much here.
0:40 - Why is Yuri jumping around when no one else is? I guess she’s that happy to have discovered the physical phenomenon of echoing. Just wait until someone tells her about reverberation.
1:21 - I like the way that Jessica’s face lights up here.
1:57 - Yuri did this same from-behind-the-hands move in their song “Oh!,” as well. In fact, many of the girls do familiar choreography. It’s almost as if things are being echoed. So Nyeo Shi Dae is so deep.
2:34 - Whoa! Who is that!? Oh, it’s Hyoyeon. I almost forgot that she’s in So Nyeo Shi Dae. Someone give her more screen time already.
2:52 - Someone call the paramedics! I think that Sunny is having an echo-induced seizure!

“Bad Girl” by So Nyeo Shi Dae
Things worth noting:
0:00 - I hate this music video, but the song is somewhat catchy. It’s sung in Japanese. There’s not a Korean version at the time of typing this.
0:26 - Get ready, because this music video is filled with erratic, arm-flinging choreography. It looks rushed. It probably was.
3:59 - Watch how Hyoyeon (the girl on the far left) walks away. What a bad girl.

“Bo Peep Bo Peep (Japanese version)” by T-ara
Things worth noting:
0:19 - I don’t understand their outfits. Are they supposed to be sheep? Cats? Rabbits?
0:35 - Now that everyone has experienced brain death attempting to focus on anything during the last 15 seconds, let’s move on, shall we?
1:40 - I really don’t know what to point out. I can’t focus on anything long enough to notice details. I hope that they fired this editor.
2:53 - I like the whimsical choreography found in the Korean version that occurs during this instrumental interlude more than this black-and-white photograph effect. One can find it in Part II.
3:47 - So I guess they were cats? Why did they have rabbit tails, then? Why do I have a headache?

TEMPORAL INTEGRITY COMPROMISED

CHRONOLOGICAL ANOMALY DETECTED

“Sarang+” by As One
Things worth noting:
0:00 - I remember listening to this song several times around a decade ago. It’s still pretty catchy. Actually, I remember this great remix of it. I have no idea where to even find the remix today.
1:58 - “You are feeling sleepy…”
3:44 - Wow, K-pop has changed in the last decade.

I find it rather unfair that a voice as deep and hauntingly beautiful as Joanna’s seems to go largely unnoticed. I mean, this official video only has a couple thousand views and two comments at the time of writing this:

A cover of “Can’t Take My Eyes off You” performed by Joanna Wang

I’ve linked to music by Joanna Wang before, and decided tonight to see what she’s been concocting (if anything). It turns out that she has an album in mind that she fears won’t be successful:

Joanna talking about the concept of her upcoming album while lamenting her debut.

Within the above video, she also mentions that she dislikes her debut album Start from Here because it’s not truly “her,” but the work of several persons and organizations. I understand what she means, but when one’s voice is capable of sounding like this…

“迷宮” (“Labyrinth”) a.k.a. “Let’s Start from Here” by Joanna Wang

…why disown it simply because it’s not entirely one’s work? Does Joanna realize what she has with Start from Here? She does seem to have control issues to some degree. I can understand the desire to be entirely in control of one’s own production; I would want to be, as well; however, had I created an album as interesting and pleasurable to the ear as Start from Here, I would embrace it even if it wasn’t entirely my own vision. Why does she not accept it as a collaborative effort between herself and the music industry designed to both launch her career successfully as well as show her vocal talent? I don’t know; hearing that she dislikes the very songs that made me love her in the first place just kind of bothers me.

Oh, well.

As a continuation of Part I, I challenge you to watch the music videos below and not have them become stuck in your head for days.

“CABI Song” by So Nyeo Shi Dae & 2PM
Things worth noting:
0:55 - The 2PM dudes look almost ripped here, but less so throughout the rest of the video. It just goes to show what some oil and shadows can do for you.
0:56 - Jessica says, “Every time, all right; oh, wild river” in English.
1:07 - A slow-motion downblouse and hair flip from Yuri. Yay!
2:23 - Just look at Yuri’s torso. Look at it!
4:23 - That’s right. This is actually a commercial for some Caribbean-themed hotel/resort.

“Visual Dreams (Robotaki Remix)” by So Nyeo Shi Dae
Things worth noting:
0:00 - Let me just begin by stating that this remix is such a vast improvement over the original version that I’m not even going to bother linking to the original version.
0:54 - I think that Jessica, the girl furthest left, turned the wrong direction here. Her face seems surprised. Maybe not, though.
0:57 - “Cheoeum neukkin i gamjeong my deep love core…”
1:32 - “…Get into my core.” Is that an invitation, Seohyun?
1:35 - The interlude that begins here is incredible. I think that it greatly adds to the song.
5:02 - Byow-byow-byow-byow byow-byow

“Mr. Taxi” by So Nyeo Shi Dae
Things worth noting:
0:36 - “Mr. Taxi, Taxi, Taxi soutou jeukshi, jeukshi, jeukshi…”
1:44 - The kiss-and-slide-back-with-head-tilted-down-while-looking-up move that Jessica does here looks great, I must say.
2:01 - Sunny, the girl in the middle, looks like she’s trying not to laugh when she says, “You take me ima sugu.”
2:24 - What is that alluring look and wry smile that Sooyoung gives to Hyoyeon (both girls on the right)? Is something going on of which I’m unaware? I hope so.

“Twinkle Twinkle” by Girl’s Day
Things worth noting:
0:00 - I really dislike this opening sequence.
1:10 - “Hajima, hajima ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma…”
1:14 - “Kajima, kajima ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma…”
1:27 - I’ve heard this melody somewhere before, but can’t quite put my finger on it…
4:18 - “This is the Girl’s Day!” …If you say so.

“Shy Boy” by Secret
Things worth noting:
0:16 - “Time, time, time to shine! Time, time, time Secret time!” …Yay, Secret time…!
0:55 - Not being the best Korean speaker myself, I’ve tried to understand what Sunhwa says here — even going so far as to look up the lyrics. Apparently, she says, “Malman manha cham manha, yeoja deuldo neomu manha.” Say that ten times fast.
1:24 - Look at that dude in the background. Amazing.
1:45 - “Maybe if I flip my hair twice in a row boys will like me,” Jieun thinks to herself.
2:43 - Zinger has some hips there.
2:52 - Rita Repulsa, is that you?

“To Me” by Rainbow
Things worth noting:
0:20 - “Yeah, I’m your one and only girrah.”
3:23 - I don’t really like how they edited the random punching and kissing sounds into the song here. I don’t think it adds anything; although, I suppose it goes with the boxing ring prop.
3:56 - Hyun Young looks great here.

“Bo Peep Bo Peep” by T-ara
Things worth noting:
0:15 - “Bo Peep Bo Peep Bo Peep Bo Peep…”
1:00 - “Follow me, follow me…”
2:50 - “All right, girls, just jump around randomly while looking cute and kind of maintaining the style of the original dance,” I imagine the choreographer requested.
3:06 - I can’t believe that this music video has an official 19+ rating from the Ministry of Culture, Sports and Tourism. This is PG-rated content at best. If you want a real 18+ music video with similar themes (and a much better beat), then watch “Smack My Bitch Up” by The Prodigy.

“Marshmallow” by IU
Things worth noting:
0:57 - When I first heard this song, this chorus became stuck in my head for several days afterward. It’s just ridiculous.

“Good Day” by IU
Things worth noting:
0:16 - I haven’t done the research, but am willing to bet that IU’s face has seen its fair share of the knife. Her face looks so plastic and manufactured.
2:03 - Cue the catchy chorus…
2:43 - “Let’s happily hop back and forth, girls!” IU demanded.
2:56 - Is that a real musical instrument!?
3:04 - And another one!? Is this really K-pop…?
4:30 - Guy: Sorry, but I don’t find plastic girls attractive.
4:33 - IU: Wait! I promise I’m more than just another vacuous, superficial Korean girl buying into popular culture social norms and trying to look as Caucasian as possible!
4:40 - Guy: I’m sorry, but, based on your career record, I don’t believe you. Also, my scarf is amazing. Good-bye.

Why didn’t someone tell me that Super Metroid was so incredible?

Super Metroid was released in 1994 — 17 years ago — yet plays as if it’s only a few years old. The production value immediately caught me off guard and continued to surprise me throughout the experience. I can’t think of a single negative thing to say about this game.

Let me explain…

- - - - - - - - - - SPOILER WARNING - - - - - - - - - -

I’ve played a few other similar Metroid titles in the past such as Metroid Fusion and Metroid: Zero Mission — both for the Game Boy Advance. Even though they’re not bad games, I was underwhelmed. Several things kept me from thoroughly enjoying these titles like I did with Super Metroid.

First, let me just say that the map in Super Metroid is perfect in almost every way. It blows my mind to think that such a detailed, memorable, labyrinthine map was constructed in 1994. From the lakes of acid rain on Crateria to the pipework throughout Maridia to the fiery depths of Norfair, getting lost was just as much fun as knowing where to go next. What’s the first thing that you notice about the map below?

A higher-resolution map is available here.

It’s dark! It has a consistent “underground” feeling to it. Both Metroid Fusion and Metroid: Zero Mission are bright and almost cartoony. They almost completely lack my next point: atmosphere.

I was amazed by how atmospheric parts of Super Metroid were. For example, scanning the darkened, unpowered Wrecked Ship with the X-ray Scope for hidden routes was rather eerie. Wandering through Maridia with the X-ray Scope made me feel like I was an aquanaut. In other words, I found that the X-ray Scope gave the game a welcome layer of depth — an exploratory, slower-paced feel contrasted by devices such as the fast and flashy Speed Booster and Screw Attack. The often-ambient music only accentuated these feelings and experiences.

Just incredible.

I really can’t say enough good things about this game. I can see why it has received universal critical acclaim.

“At the time of its release, Super Metroid was universally praised. To this day, it remains one of the most popular and critically lauded games not only for the SNES, but in all of gaming history. It has sold 1.4 million units (780,000 in Japan and 460,000 in North America), becoming a Player’s Choice. It frequently appears in “best games of all time” lists; Electronic Gaming Monthly has named Super Metroid the best game of all time, and IGN ranked it the third best game of all time in its 2003 “top 100” list, and fourth best game of all time in its most recent 2006 list […]” (Source)

If the idea of a rock-solid 2-D action-adventure platformer sounds good to you (and you haven’t already played Super Metroid), then do yourself a favor and play this game immediately.

I first heard about the J-rock (Japanese rock) and visual kei band MALICE MIZER during the summer of 2001.  They disbanded a few months later exactly nine years ago from today on December 11, 2001, but, honestly, I’m glad, because had they stayed together, their music would have inevitably degraded.  Instead, they left a treasure trove of incredible music for people to discover.  They knew when their time as a successful and influential group was over and disbanded at the right moment.

Anyway, rather than write about the long, winding history of the band, I’d rather just jump straight into the three eras and briefly discuss their music.

The Tetsu Era

During the Tetsu era, the band was originally Tetsu (vocals), Mana (guitar, synthesizer), Közi (guitar), Yu~ki (bass), and Gaz (drums).  After some time, Gaz left the band and they replaced him with Kami as the drummer.  Compared to the later vocalists of the band, the voice of Tetsu is somewhat nasally and an acquired taste.  Over time, though, it becomes gradually more listenable.  MALICE MIZER released one album in two versions with Tetsu: Memoire and Memoire DX.

“Seraph” from the album Memoire DX

“Baroque” from the album Memoire DX

Although there are not any music videos for the Tetsu era, I chose “Seraph” and “Baroque” off of the album Memoire DX because they showcase the vocals of Tetsu well.

After Memoire DX, Mana essentially told Tetsu to leave and replaced him with Gackt.

The Gackt Era

During the Gackt era, the band was Gackt (vocals), Mana (guitar, synthesizer), Közi (guitar), Yu~ki (bass), and Kami (drums).  The vocals of Gackt are not at all nasally like those of Tetsu, but pronounced and more pop-rock in style.  While with Gackt, MALICE MIZER released several singles and two albums: Voyage ~sans retour~ and Merveilles.  Many people consider Merveilles to be the magnum opus of the band.

“Uruwashiki kamen no shoutaijou” from the single Uruwashiki kamen no shoutaijou

“Transylvania” from the album Voyage ~sans retour~

“Itsuwari no Musette” from the album Voyage ~sans retour~

“ma chérie ~Itoshii kimi e~” from the single ma chérie ~Itoshii kimi e~

From this point onward, PVs (“promotional videos,” or music videos) were created for the singles released by MALICE MIZER.

“Bel Air ~Kuuhaku no shunkan no naka de~” from the album Merveilles

“au revoir” from the album Merveilles

“Gekka no yasoukyoku” from the album Merveilles

“Illuminati (P-type)” from the album Merveilles

“Le ciel ~Kuuhaku no kanata e~” from the album Merveilles

On June 21, 1999, Kami died in his sleep from a subarachnoid hemorrhage at the age of 26. Shortly thereafter, Gackt decided to go solo and left MALICE MIZER.

The Klaha Era

During the Klaha era, the band was Klaha (vocals), Mana (guitar, synthesizer), Közi (guitar), and Yu~ki (bass). These will continue to be the members until the disbandment. The vocals of Klaha are powerful and operatic, thus the music of MALICE MIZER took a darker, more experimental turn. The band released several singles and one album entitled Bara no seidou with Klaha.

“Saikai no chi to bara” from the album Bara no seidou

“Kyomu no naka de yuugi” from the album Bara no seidou

“Shiroi hada ni kuruu ai to kanashimi no rondo” from the album Bara no seidou

“Gardenia” from the single Gardenia

“Beast of Blood” from the single Beast of Blood

“Mayonaka ni kawashita yakusoku” from the album Bara no seidou

“Garnet ~Kindan no sono e~” from the single Garnet ~Kindan no sono e~

Approximately a month after releasing the single Garnet ~Kindan no sono e~, MALICE MIZER disbanded on December 11, 2001 and the four remaining members went their separate ways. Klaha went solo for a while, then essentially faded into obscurity; Mana formed the band Moi dix Mois; Közi went solo and performs with a few bands essentially as an extra; and Yu~ki faded into obscurity, as well.

Several things draw me to the music of MALICE MIZER.  From their elaborate, flamboyant costumes to their variegated musical styles and influences, there’s a track for almost every mood hidden somewhere in their discography.  While my interests in other J-rock bands have come and gone, I still enjoy much of the music of MALICE MIZER from time to time.